A victim of the cult of optimization and productivity
“They don’t know we’re just training for our real sport: long-distance walking.”
I thought it might be interesting to talk about those resolutions we might have made four weeks ago. Everyone always wants to talk about them on January 1, but what about on January 27, hmmmm?
As I wrote earlier this month, my only official resolution for the year was to keep up with my bullet journal. Which I am doing marvelously, thank you for asking.
But I had other short-term goals just for the month of January: Dry January, for one. Stop Juuling. Read more books. Run. Get outside. Daily yoga. It’s a lot, especially when I’m trying to tick those boxes almost every day.
And maybe you’re wondering—as I sometimes have—why do I feel compelled to do all that? If there is one habit I picked up while working as Virginia Sole-Smith’s assistant for several years, it’s constantly interrogating my behaviors and beliefs for insidious traces of diet culture1, and I worry the above might raise some red flags. At the very least, I must be a victim of the cult of optimization and productivity, right?2
But I am also convinced that there are safe and healthy ways to pursue exercise and physical activity goals, if that’s something you want to do. This is my approach; I’d be curious to hear your suggestions in the comments.
Last summer I ran into a friend and fellow backpacker while out on a run, and we stopped to chat. The topic of neighborhood run clubs came up, and I expressed my hesitation to go because I’d be too slow. I can’t remember exactly how the conversation went but she eventually said the funniest thing, which was (I paraphrase): “Plus, they don’t know we’re just training for our real sport: long-distance walking.”
She was 100 percent correct: Running really only stuck when I realized it could be a stand-in for hiking, when hiking itself wasn’t possible, and to stay fit for that activity in the off-season. And I have consistently felt stronger on trail since then, even as an on-again, off-again runner. And now I like running, too, go figure.
The value of having a reason to do something (run, bike, swim, lift, whatever) that’s not related to changing your body size or shape cannot be overstated. I recognize that, as someone with a genetic predisposition to thinness, I have a lot of privilege, and perhaps that undermines my authority here. But I still think it’s true.
While an (almost) daily run in January sounds pretty extreme, most of these excursions have been one slow mile. Most days, it is the only reason I get out of the house.
One year, I tried to spend a full half-hour outside every day. Instead of going on a short 10 or 15-minute jog every day, I was forcing myself to go on cold, wet marches around the neighborhood with a 30-minute timer on, and then tweeting about it afterwards. I had some nice experiences, but looking back, I mostly remember the nights I didn’t want to go out but went for a walk anyway, and how bad and guilty I felt when I inevitably missed a day.3
The January jog is better: It still gets me outside, but it’s easier to squeeze in between work and dinner. And running is a bigger, more dramatic movement than walking, so I feel it does a better job shaking me out of my stupor after a long day sitting and typing, which is also all-important.
(And, just to be clear, I don’t plan on trying to run every day forever. When the days are longer and getting outside is easier, I will probably dial back the days and up the mileage—I’ll see how I feel.)
I don’t want to jinx it, but this may be the first year I make it through Adriene’s annual 30-day challenge, as it comes out, without missing a day. Yoga is another way I make my body contort in ways that aren’t my usual laptop-hunch. As a bonus, I think it also makes me a stronger and more limber hiker.
Yoga is something I like to do purely for the sake of doing it—because it feels good—but I have found time and time again that if I don’t prioritize it, I’ll skip it: I’ll skip it because I’m tired; because I want to work longer; because I didn’t leave enough time in the morning before work; or before my evening plans after work; because I need to go grocery shopping; because I would rather unwind with a drink—I can find all sorts of reasons. And if I skip one practice, I can skip them all.
The only way I have found I can practice consistently is to make it a daily habit. The videos I do are short—so far they’ve all been under 25 minutes—so that keeps it manageable.
But—and this is a big, important but—it’s important to build in a bit of give. To allow yourself skip days whenever necessary. Bodies need time to heal, to recover, to do something different, even if that’s slugging in bed all day, for multiple days in a row.
This comes easily to me; I am a fairly laid back person. That’s why I feel I thrive when I impose rules and resolutions on my life. They give me structure, which I need and like. (See also: deadlines.) And I’m good at knowing when to ease off the gas, so it doesn’t tip into mania or dysfunctional territory.4 ‘Many rules, loosely held’ seems to work for me. (See also: my mostly vegetarianism.)
So I’ve run most days, but not every day. I’ve gotten outside every day but one. I finished the book I was reading for book club, even if I skipped reading more days than not. I can count the days I’ve Juuled on one hand. I do hope to complete the 30-day yoga challenge, but will ease up on the “daily” part of the yoga practice in February as needed.
And I’m really proud to have stuck with Dry January this year. In fact, that has been the biggest disappointment of all my resolutions so far. I hoped taking alcohol out of the picture would instantly transform me into the picture of health, but I’ve been low-key on-and-off sickly all month. Now I’m worried I may have a sinus infection. Also, it turns out ‘abstaining from alcohol’ is not the same thing as ‘drinking water,’ so I’m still waking up dehydrated more often than not.
Perhaps that’s something I could track in my bujo this February, along with my flossing habits, which could also use some work…
What I’m reading
Creative, backcountry skiing can only take you so far in a warming world (Josh Laskin for the New York Times).
Eight countries, 250 days, 5,500 kilometers (over 3,000 miles). That’s how long a group of environmentalists plan on hiking to raise awareness about pollution and overfishing in the Baltic Sea. In case you have a lot of spare time this year, “People are also invited to join the expedition for the whole hike, several sections, or just for a day.” (Rebecca Ann Hughes for EuroNews)
And finally: Sometimes I wonder if there is a greater cultural rift between people in this world than gender reveal parties. Like, this does not compute. (It also involves water pollution so, yes, it does belong in this newsletter. Don’t forget the wildfire started by a gender reveal pyrotechnic, either!) Honestly it breaks my brain a little bit, just thinking about how we got here. (Maroosha Muzaffar for the Independent)
If recognizing and critiquing diet culture is new to you, I highly recommend checking out Virginia’s newsletter. (Start here.)
If I am, it’s because I’m writing this at 7:30 on a Friday evening instead of going out for a run, but I digress.
In the (paywalled) comments on this Burnt Toast podcast episode, many of the critiques and complaints about 1000 Hours Outside are related to how the obsessive tracking and monitoring of outside time can suck the joy out of it for individuals and families, and I think I experienced some of that in this experiment.
I know this doesn’t describe everyone! If you have more obsessive tendencies, or are the kind of person to pick up a ‘healthy’ habit and never let it go, even when it’s not good for you—maybe disregard what I’m saying.
I approach fitness thinking about what capabilities I need to develop for the activities I want to do. Backpacking is certainly an endurance activity, so running will help. But, have you considered training rucks as exercise for backpacking? I do them 2-3 times a week. Tim Ebl just published an article on them today!
https://open.substack.com/pub/time2thrive/p/need-more-cardio-but-cant-run-try?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1nj3lb