I received some tough reader feedback on this post, in my email:
Do you have any particular excuse for feeling “strangely detached” or is that all you had to say?
Well I don’t feel detached, though I haven’t lived in NY for 35 years. So I think I’ll unsubscribe and go look for some substack writer with a more appealing motto than “I really don’t care.” You’ll be fine without me—indifference to the fate of living beings other than oneself is all the rage in Trump’s America.
PS can’t find a way to unsubscribe, so I’m blocking you. Have a fun, indifferent life!
This was my response, which I'm sharing here to clarify for others as well:
Thank you for your challenging questions in response to my post today. It's a good reminder of how words can be taken out of context of the body of my work, especially now that I'm writing for more people who don't know me personally.
What I meant to imply, although I did not say explicitly, is that I am wiped out and numb from the onslaught of bad news over the past two weeks. My capacity to feel horror and distress is diminished right now. I hope my previous post (https://pinchofdirt.substack.com/p/it-was-election-day-in-america) shows that I am not at all indifferent to the fate of people, animals, or the planet. But I appreciate being pressed to defend my language.
You are of course free to unsubscribe (the link is in the footer of every email). But I wanted to reach out and clarify what I meant.
What an incredibly bad faith reading of this post… weird that they are a subscriber and presumably read your other work but interpreted this one in that way?
well losing that person doesn’t seem like a great loss, but your response to them is also a good footnote for this essay because your emotional context makes the piece more whole IMO
I didn't go into their subscriber history so I don't know if they've been subscribed to the newsletter one day, one week, or one year...my assumption, and hope, is that they haven't been reading very long and don't know me very well. I agree that their comment jumps to an unfair conclusion (and without waiting for my response/defense), and is more aggressive than is necessary. But as you say, the post is better with the additional context that their email pushed me to add.
You know, the commenter is a prof of English and Comp Lit. I can imagine a kinder response—to a student, perhaps—that says, 'Hey, did you really mean what you wrote here? It's pretty shocking/lacks context, can you explain?'
And then actually waits for my response before blocking...
Oh wow. That is really not what I’d expect to read from a professor. Hopefully this is the first and last time they ever address criticism to a fellow writer this way.
Based on the in “Trump’s America” comment it seems like post-election rage (and also other issues) to me and that they are unfairly taking it out on you. I’m trying to keep my empathy in tact despite the disappointment of the result.
I expect you need (and deserve) a break from grieving.
Thich Nhat Hanh warned against "Useless sadness, doesn't help anyone". Sadness is optional. Action might be mandated, but what action?
I came across this, cited by Annie Mahon: "During a Question & Answer session some years ago, Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh was asked, “What is the hardest part of your practice?” I expected him to say, “stilling the mind” or “working with anger.” Nope. Thich Nhat Hanh answered that “not falling into despair” was the hardest part of his Buddhist mindfulness practice."
I guess TNH had many things to despair about, but he did enjoy cultivating peppermint plants. From Buddhism to Voltaire!
I realised later that I slightly misquoted TNH. He actually said, "Useless SUFFERING". It doesn't change the message, as sadness is one kind of suffering, though of course suffering takes many forms besides sadness. I had all along a niggling feeling I had got something wrong, and then hours later I heard TNH's voice in my head saying the correct version. (I heard him say that decades ago when I was at the "Summer Opening" at Plum Village, and had never really forgotten.)
I received some tough reader feedback on this post, in my email:
Do you have any particular excuse for feeling “strangely detached” or is that all you had to say?
Well I don’t feel detached, though I haven’t lived in NY for 35 years. So I think I’ll unsubscribe and go look for some substack writer with a more appealing motto than “I really don’t care.” You’ll be fine without me—indifference to the fate of living beings other than oneself is all the rage in Trump’s America.
PS can’t find a way to unsubscribe, so I’m blocking you. Have a fun, indifferent life!
This was my response, which I'm sharing here to clarify for others as well:
Thank you for your challenging questions in response to my post today. It's a good reminder of how words can be taken out of context of the body of my work, especially now that I'm writing for more people who don't know me personally.
What I meant to imply, although I did not say explicitly, is that I am wiped out and numb from the onslaught of bad news over the past two weeks. My capacity to feel horror and distress is diminished right now. I hope my previous post (https://pinchofdirt.substack.com/p/it-was-election-day-in-america) shows that I am not at all indifferent to the fate of people, animals, or the planet. But I appreciate being pressed to defend my language.
You are of course free to unsubscribe (the link is in the footer of every email). But I wanted to reach out and clarify what I meant.
Sincerely,
Jessica McKenzie
What an incredibly bad faith reading of this post… weird that they are a subscriber and presumably read your other work but interpreted this one in that way?
well losing that person doesn’t seem like a great loss, but your response to them is also a good footnote for this essay because your emotional context makes the piece more whole IMO
I didn't go into their subscriber history so I don't know if they've been subscribed to the newsletter one day, one week, or one year...my assumption, and hope, is that they haven't been reading very long and don't know me very well. I agree that their comment jumps to an unfair conclusion (and without waiting for my response/defense), and is more aggressive than is necessary. But as you say, the post is better with the additional context that their email pushed me to add.
You know, the commenter is a prof of English and Comp Lit. I can imagine a kinder response—to a student, perhaps—that says, 'Hey, did you really mean what you wrote here? It's pretty shocking/lacks context, can you explain?'
And then actually waits for my response before blocking...
Oh wow. That is really not what I’d expect to read from a professor. Hopefully this is the first and last time they ever address criticism to a fellow writer this way.
Based on the in “Trump’s America” comment it seems like post-election rage (and also other issues) to me and that they are unfairly taking it out on you. I’m trying to keep my empathy in tact despite the disappointment of the result.
Same!
I expect you need (and deserve) a break from grieving.
Thich Nhat Hanh warned against "Useless sadness, doesn't help anyone". Sadness is optional. Action might be mandated, but what action?
I came across this, cited by Annie Mahon: "During a Question & Answer session some years ago, Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh was asked, “What is the hardest part of your practice?” I expected him to say, “stilling the mind” or “working with anger.” Nope. Thich Nhat Hanh answered that “not falling into despair” was the hardest part of his Buddhist mindfulness practice."
I guess TNH had many things to despair about, but he did enjoy cultivating peppermint plants. From Buddhism to Voltaire!
Please don't feel obliged to be sad.
This is lovely, from the challenge of not despairing to the peppermint plants. Thank you for sharing
I realised later that I slightly misquoted TNH. He actually said, "Useless SUFFERING". It doesn't change the message, as sadness is one kind of suffering, though of course suffering takes many forms besides sadness. I had all along a niggling feeling I had got something wrong, and then hours later I heard TNH's voice in my head saying the correct version. (I heard him say that decades ago when I was at the "Summer Opening" at Plum Village, and had never really forgotten.)